Graham,
Now that you are six months old, I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. You are growing so fast and developing so well and I am so proud. You are so handsome and perfect, your smile brightens my day, your voice is like an angel's. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful gift.
You may someday wonder what has happened in my past, in your father's past; You may someday wonder why you have brothers that didn't come from me; You may someday wonder under what circumstances you arrived in this tainted world, in this hurtful situation. All I want you to know is that you are loved, and none of that matters. I don't want you to know what happened between your father and I. I just want you to be sure that we both love you with all our hearts, that you are important. That you are cherished and special.
You might feel alone sometimes, and you may question things, you may ask yourself "Why is the world so cruel?" A great man once said to be in the world, but not of the world. I want you to grow up to be a wonderful person, who knows right from wrong and treats everyone with respect. I pray everyday that I can raise you in a way that is applaudable. I will make mistakes. I will hurt your feelings. There will be times where you say you hate me and you wish I wasn't your mom. I know these things will happen, because they happen to everyone. I said those things to your grandma. But I hope that those moments are fleeting, and that you always remember without a doubt that I love you and would never hurt you. That your presence is the greatest thing I could have ever asked for and that you are special to each and every person in your life.
So, it is inevitable that every day you get older, and that there is no way for me to stop time even though I wish I could. I have been the best mother I could be up to this point, and I promise to keep trying to be the best mother. I love you to the moon and back.
Love,
Mama
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
It's Summer, Babe!
Finally finished my summer classes today. I have twenty days of freedom and then school starts back up again on August 30. I'm happy about the break, but I'm also excited to start new classes. I can't wait to learn new things! The first half of summer classes went really well; I did amazing in them and got awesome grades. Second half, not so much. The classes were A LOT of work and somewhat difficult, my grades dropped considerably. Not to make excuses for myself, but I just didn't have enough time to do all the work. Two classes at one time during the summer semester is just wayyyy too much work. I will never attempt it again. I just hope it doesn't affect my GPA too bad. I really need to get it back up so I can transfer.
I've been doing really bad with MS lately. First my right side went numb, and it's really bothersome and uncomfortable and I just hate it. Now my speech is affected and it is so annoying. It sucks when I'm working and I'm talking to a table and I slur uncontrollably and they look at me like I'm nuts. Yeah..Greatest disease ever. Why did this happen to me again?
No success selling the car yet...This needs to happen, and soon.
I've been doing really bad with MS lately. First my right side went numb, and it's really bothersome and uncomfortable and I just hate it. Now my speech is affected and it is so annoying. It sucks when I'm working and I'm talking to a table and I slur uncontrollably and they look at me like I'm nuts. Yeah..Greatest disease ever. Why did this happen to me again?
No success selling the car yet...This needs to happen, and soon.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Today I realized I already want a new job. I hate being a server and/or working in a restaurant. It's weird to think I started college with a Culinary Arts major in mind. Good thing I figured out it sucks before I got too far into it.
My professor from Art for the Elementary Classroom won't get off my back. The class is done and I didn't complete an assignment because I didn't have the time to do it, and she won't let it go. She keeps saying we have to sign a paper with a due date stating that I will get the project finished by that time. HELLO, I can't do it! I work 30+ hours a week, I'm in another summer class, and in the meantime I take care of my 6-month old son. So sorry if you thought I was some freshman that still lives at home with no other commitments in my life and no job because mommy and daddy pay for everything. I can't tell you how much I wish that WAS my life, but unfortunately things turned out a little whack for me. "It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad, to total shitsdom." [Zombieland]
Well, there's my gripe for the day. Hope you enjoyed it :)
My professor from Art for the Elementary Classroom won't get off my back. The class is done and I didn't complete an assignment because I didn't have the time to do it, and she won't let it go. She keeps saying we have to sign a paper with a due date stating that I will get the project finished by that time. HELLO, I can't do it! I work 30+ hours a week, I'm in another summer class, and in the meantime I take care of my 6-month old son. So sorry if you thought I was some freshman that still lives at home with no other commitments in my life and no job because mommy and daddy pay for everything. I can't tell you how much I wish that WAS my life, but unfortunately things turned out a little whack for me. "It's amazing how quickly things can go from bad, to total shitsdom." [Zombieland]
Well, there's my gripe for the day. Hope you enjoyed it :)
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